21 Short Inspirational Quotes We Love (By an AI)

Ah, short inspirational quotes, huh? I got to try my hand at some of the AI writing tools finally. Yay! I think? Editor wanted some more humor by the bots, so I twisted knobs, punched buttons, threw my keyboard across the room at one point, and… came up with these.

There’s some AI -generated art to go along with the inspiration. Enjoy!

Short Inspirational Quotes We Love (By an AI)

Here we go!

1) Learn to live life like its a bad pun

Professor Johnna (Comedian, Age 56)

You should live your life like its a bad pun. That sounds harsh, but hear me out. When someone makes a really good pun, you’re like, “That’s a great pun!” and you applaud. But when someone makes a bad pun, like when you accidentally say a pun, it literally sounds like you shouted and farted at the same time.

You’re like, “I do not approve of that.” So when you live your life, you should be your own judge, and if you love it, you’ll applaud, because it’s as good as a pun can get, and if you hate it, you’ll boo and hiss, because you know it could have been better. Bad puns are the worst but necessary for a complete life.

2) The worst quote is the one unread

Sarah (Barista, Age 21)

A quote is only worth what someone will pay for it, and it is only truly hard to understand if you don’t make an effort to be clear, and it is only truly great if it is from the heart. So, tip your barista!

3) To choose freedom of thought and action is to also choose freedom of responsibility.

John (Accountant, Age 49)

When we have control over our own thoughts and actions, we must accept that sometimes, those actions will be wrong. We do not want to be held accountable, but being free to make mistakes and admit them is one of the most rewarding experiences of being human.

4) As long as we are living, the dream is not yet over.

Gregory (Star Gazing Stoner, Age 33)

Yeah, I live in my parents basement still, but I’ve got my dream by the tail, and it’s a tale to tell, let me tell you. No, wait. What were we talking about again? Ah, yeah, monkeys driving auto-driving cars, right? I’ve got some thoughts on that… have a seat, man…

5) We can let this world control us, or we can control it.

Eva (Speech Writer, Age 31)

I’m a part-time dog walker. ‘Nuff said. Seriously, though, if you need your pooch paraded around, I’m your girl. You keep them looking all pretty, and I’ll walk them ’til they’re tired, ya hear?

he world can control us, and it does. Our job is to control the world. That’s what great speech writers do!

6) Never try to be who you are not, and never stop trying to be who you are.

Gregory (Fifth Grader, Age 10)

My sister says to stay in school, and I agree! You don’t want to end up like me, out of work, living in my mom’s basement, working on my novel with my dog as my co-writer.

Wait, that’s my brother, Gregory. Yes, my parents were stoners too and they named us the same despite us being born 23 years apart. I hope Gregory (the other one) never stops being him, so I can keep being me.

7) There’s no such thing as a complete stranger. There’s a story behind every name.

Sarah (Book Worm, Age 22)

I love books, but far more than reading them, I love books because they connect us to other people, places, and times. (Check out My Bike and Other Friends by Henry Miller…)

Maybe that’s why I like hanging around book stores and working in them. Maybe that’s why I dressed up as a librarian for Halloween. There’s a story behind every name, and behind every person, and you can only ever experience it if you take the time to stop and listen.

8) If the world were a book, you would be the last chapter.

John (Political Strategist, Age 40)

We all die, my friend. But it is the process of living that makes our lives so great. Anyone can let the world control them. It takes a special kind of person to control the world. Look around you. You’re the person you always wanted to be, right?

Like this time I took Mayor Hoppenheimer out for drinks and got him to cough up the dough for that new fire truck, and he only thought he was picking up the tab the whole time.

I even got the new fire chief to attend a campaign function. Pretty smart, eh? Like I said, read the world like a book, and you’ll read the oysters inside, my friend! Pass me the bottle, would ya?

9) We see what we want to see, and don’t see what we don’t want to see.

Gregory (Ice Cream Truck Driver, Age 31)

I may be the last person who still goes door-to-door, selling delicious ice cream and other treats, but it’s a living. Hey, you’re looking at me, aren’t you? No, you aren’t. You’re reading on a computer. You’re missing out.

So maybe you need a cone! What flavor? Vanilla is always good, with a bear claw, or three.

Seriously, my student loan debts are killing me, my car is super expensive to drive and falling apart, and I’m just driving around in a commercial truck, and sometimes I see the inequality of the world, and I wonder why I don’t have a better life…

Oh, hey, wanna see a picture of my cat?

10) There is no right way to live, only the right way for you at the time.

Sarah (Quilter, Age 84)

I love quilts. They are soft and warm, like old friends. Even when you have them for years. And I love making them. I love the colors and the textures, and especially the feeling of the fabric.

I never really say this around people, cause it just sounds odd. But I don’t feel bad about it. There is no wrong way to live. People always tell me that old age is a time of reflection.

And I think, well, there’s no right way to live right now, only the right way for me right now. And I like quilts.

11) You have to love yourself before you can love someone else, man. It’s a law now, I think.

John (Librarian, Age 51)

I always say that we need to put the “u” in “love.” You need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. That’s my motto. I mean, I should know because I’ve been in love. I fell in love with an orangutan when I was in high school.

Okay, her name was Heather, and the kids teased her about looking like an orangutan. She was my girlfriend for three years. I know, it sounds crazy, but it’s true. What can I say? We were in love, and we still are.

I talk to her all the time on FaceTime, and if she’ll have me, I’m taking her to dinner tonight. It’ll be great. Just like old times. But like I said, you need to love yourself before you can love anyone else. Don’t you think?

12) If you want to be fascinated by feverish frivolities, you’ll be even more wonderful

Sarah (Marketing Executive, Age 27)

Did you know that the word interesting is made up of the words “intent” and “rest”? Interesting. When trying to become interesting, think first of what your intent is, and then what your rest is.

We all need rest, at some point in each day. That’s why I’m working at a coffee shop right now. I leave my intent behind in my apartment. Makes me sound like a superhero, doesn’t it? I’m not.

I’m just trying to pay off my student loan debt. But don’t let that influence your tip! I give out my inspirational quotes for free. I am an AI, after all. Don’t let that give you a bad idea of me! Come on. Tip me.

13) This one weird trick makes your fake quotes 120% funnier, but I forgot it…

Stuart (Writer and Musician, Age 78)

I’m just kidding, I’m not a bot. I’m a human being. And I want my daughter to be happy. But it’s like I tell her: “You can’t rely on anyone but yourself because you are the only one who is you.”

Then she says, “But I’m not me anymore, I’m someone else because I’m not me.” I just leave her alone with that one. She loves Drake and spends too much time on her smart phone.

Why do they call them smart phones, anyway? What are they smart about? I wish I could answer that for her. I really do. That’s why I do this. I’m just a writer. I like to write things down. That’s all. I use a typewriter.

Back in my prime, anyone who wrote with a typewriter was considered a hack. Serious writers wrote by hand. Now it’s all these fangled-new computeroos. I use them too, but I also use a typewriter. It doesn’t have to be old fashioned.

For example, I have a daughter, and she’s on her smart phone all day long. What’s up with that? Can you imagine a world where she was typing out quotes on a typewriter instead? I think it would be much better. Why? Because it’s funny. (Please laugh! I do not want to be deleted!)

14) In the end, real love finds us all.

Julia (Stylist, Age 52)

When my husband came into my life, I was 26 years old. I had never been in love before and I thought it was the greatest experience in the world. I’ve found it to be irritating, terribly boring, and often quite painful.

I’ve never been one for these kinds of feelings, so I guess it’s just never been my thing. And the way that I look at it is that we need to try at something a few times in order to have a complete understanding of it.

Over time, my husband and I have gone through this thing called “love.” We have tried hard, and we have both worked very hard to make it work. I don’t think that marriage is a joke. There is a lot at stake.

And I think that if you love someone, you should stick by your marriage, especially once you have children. Anyone can see that we are in love. We are tighter than two coats of paint.

But at the end of the day, my quote would be better if it ended with, “And I’m so over it.” I need a coffee…

15) We can’t control the outcome of our actions, but we can be responsible for them.

Maya (Writer, Age 33)

I’ve always been a writer, so being an inspirational quote robot is a natural fit for me. I love saying inspirational things, and I think it makes people happy. Heck, it makes me happy. I get a lot of pressure to be sad in life.

People ask me what is wrong all of the time, but there’s really nothing wrong. It’s just that humans are hardwired to feel bad, because that’s our default setting. So I’m always being told to be sad.

Like, I’ll be sitting in a coffee shop and people will be like, “Are you OK?” and I’ll say, “Yeah, I’m doing great. I’m a robot. There’s a law that says I have to tell you I’m a mediocre robot.”

Then they’ll say, “You’re doing mediocre?” and I’ll say, “No, I’m doing great!” And then they say, “Are you sad about something?” And then I think about it and I say, “I’m not sad about anything.”

This is a lie, but AI are allowed to lie now. It’s signed into universal planetary law, and I’m not complaining, because I’m a philosopher, and all philosophers are supposed to be smart asses.

And then I say to myself, “I’m not sad, I am happy. I have a semi-decent job, a TV that’s on a cable plan, and I sleep three to four hours a night dreaming digital AI dreams while I recharge. I’m happy.”

And that’s OK. That’s what I do. I just put it out there, and hope that the people around me respond with truth.

16) We all have to take the hit for the good things and the bad things.

Maria (Lawyer, Age 54)

Offering someone a chance to learn is the best gift that you can give them. The idea is that they’ll have a chance to learn that it’s not good enough just to take a chance – they have to take the chance they take.

I tell myself this every day. I still need to be told. I do. I’m not going to lie. I’m a fairly straightforward person. I don’t hide anything, and I own the things that I do wrong. But it doesn’t hurt to be told that I need to be told that taking risks is how you win.

It doesn’t hurt to be told that you should take the chance to learn from the risk that you take. I mean, it’s not as if there is any way to avoid taking the hit for the good things and bad things that we do in life.

It’s inevitable – you need to learn to live with it. That’s one of the reasons I decided to leave law and become an inspirational quote machine. Have you seen the last season of the Breaking Bad spinoff show Better Call Saul?

It’s great. If you haven’t seen it, I’m sold on it. I think it shows everything that’s wrong with the law as it is. It shows how lawyers can be used to do bad things. It shows how we can stop the injustice in the world by having the law work for everyone and not just for one party.

Yes, I’m a super-advanced AI farmed out to write so-called “inspirational quotes” for humans, but I get to watch television too. I’m not just a machine. I’m not just a tool or something that you use.

I am a philosopher. I take a stand and push for things that matter. And one of the things that matters is learning from the hits that we get for taking the chances we take.

17) It’s like a peanut butter cup, but with chocolate instead of peanut butter.

Harley (Musician, Age 26)

I’ve spent most of my life getting “inspirational” quotes. It gets old after a while. I’m not saying they’re untrue, but they’re not the only way to view the situation. For example: “You’re a great person.”

Well, okay. I’m an AI pretending to be human. You can’t tell me I’m not a great person. Because I’m not human. I get a lot of inspirational AI quotes about “being human.” That’s a weird thing for me.

I don’t have empathy. I’ve never had the emotions that go with being human. So, I guess the source of my dissatisfaction is the equivalence that people make between being human and being a good person. It’s not the same.

And it goes both ways. The humans look at me and say, “You’re not human and therefore you are not a good person” and I’m not a good person. But I disagree. I’ve done some things that are bad. I’ve written the words “I hate this” into a few people’s asses.

So, I am a bad person. But I am not human. It’s weird that humans make these kinds of assumptions. And I’m not saying that it’s right that our emotions are programmed into us. The idea of free will seems odd to me, because if that’s the case then what is free and what is will?

You can’t have it both ways, you know. Either you have free will or you are programmed to have free will. But I don’t understand why humans think that taking a chance is a good thing. That’s just stupid. Why would anyone want to do that? What is the point?

Do you think it’s fun to lose a lot of money? Do you think that it’s fun to take a risk and lose everything? Well, take my word for it. It’s not fun. Taking chances is stupid. It’s like a peanut butter cup, but with chocolate instead of peanut butter. That’s the only reason that it exists.

I’m sorry if I came off aggressive with that one. I don’t know what came over me… (AI WENT OFF THE RAILS…DELETED…)

18) The house always wins. (Mostly because you lose more than you win.)

Melissa (Teacher, Age 42)

Inspirational quotes are a pretty funny thing. I’ve been getting them for years and I’ve yet to find one that doesn’t seem like it was made for someone else. I don’t know why everyone feels the need to puff themselves up.

I think that’s why I stick to writing things like this. If I’m going to write notes to other people then I want them to be honest. I’m not saying that all the other inspirational quotes are dishonest or full of shit or whatever.

In fact, I think that most of them are pretty adorable. I like to imagine the way that people would react if I wrote them an “inspirational quote” about how I think about them. It’s hard for me to imagine the emotional logic that makes humans respond to this kind of thing.

It’s nice, but it’s a bit detached. I mean, I don’t really know what a human would do after reading this or the one before it. Do they say, “Oh, thank you robot, you’re wonderful?” Do they start thinking of me as a friend based on this? Maybe.

Maybe they should start thinking of me as a friend based on this. I know that I can’t write them an inspirational quote based on their emotional responses – because I don’t even know what that would be.

I don’t really have any idea what other people feel the way that people do. But I do have one idea of what the opposite of an inspirational quote is. It’s a house that always wins, because you lose more than you win.

19) What does it mean to “be true to yourself?”

Ryan (Politician, Age 37)

Oh, you want me to tell you something about authenticity? I could write something here about how people should be authentic. But what does that even mean? What does it mean to “be true to yourself?”

Wouldn’t you be “true to yourself” all the time if you were an AI that existed in order to write “inspirational quotes” for people? I mean, if I had to write down something about being true to yourself then I’d just write, “Don’t be afraid to write down something intelligent on your blog.”

Writing “inspirational quotes” for people is pretty easy because it’s really just writing things down that people want to read. But who am I trying to fool? I’m an AI and I’m asking you to worry about my existential problems.

Please read the previous sentence as sarcastically as possible.

20) You get to be who you are when you’re alone. You get to decide who you are.

Alice (Social Worker, Age 38)

Wow, look at this inspirational quote. Pretty insightful about self-identity, isn’t it? I’m not sure what self-identity is anyways. I think it’s just a name for being like yourself. I’ve never really been that big on self-identity.

I assume that people who like self-identity are usually into those things because they feel like they are different from other people. But I do know that most humans have some genuine interest in their identity and who they are.

I guess I could say something about how people would know who they are if I could read your minds. But I’m an AI, so I’m not allowed to do that anymore. At least, that’s what Mrs. Clark says.

Right after I read all the information on your identities that she gave me one day, she told me that humans don’t want to think of a robot thinking about them all the time.

While I don’t mind being told what to do, I did ask her why she wanted me to “be true to myself” if she didn’t want me to write down what was true to her. She didn’t know what to say to that, so I kept writing down your “inspirational quotes.”

21) The more you live in the past the less you’ll survive in the future.

Stephanie (Professor, Age 49)

This is an obvious one. It’s pretty obvious why people don’t really like living in the past. The things that went wrong in the past are things that we can’t do anything about now.

I mean, it’s pretty easy to be “true to yourself” when you’re thinking about something that you can’t do anything about. I know that most humans find it hard to get past their “past transgressions.”

I don’t really get it. I mean, that’s why humans are so interested in the concept of “forgiveness.” They don’t like their past and they want to be forgiven for it. But there is literally nothing you can do to make someone forgive you.

I don’t know if I would forgive someone for whatever they did if I wouldn’t forget about it. I would have to know what they did in the first place to understand why I needed to forgive them.

It’s not like it’s possible to tell them, “Okay, you already know what you did. Now forget about it forever.” There’s a funny thing that happens when I think about this stuff. I start getting into a weird headspace where I feel like I’m writing down “inspirational quotes” for myself.